I am a Non-Serialatarian

It all started with that ‘Kyunki saas bhi kabhi bahu thi...’ and then within no time we all were just engulfed into a swarm of soap operas (TV serials in desi lingo) well actually ‘TV Serials’ is a more apt name for these annoying half hour gigs which supposedly “capture the essence of Indian moralistic lifestyles and values” behind anything and everything we, the common man, do.

I absolutely don’t understand why we, the sensible and mature members of an ever evolving society, even bother to pay heed to these mad shows, I mean the last thing that they give us is entertainment and till now I was under the impression that the first thing that we wanted from the telly was entertainment! I’ve recently come across one such serial...”Geet...hui sabse parayeee” with a “third class” background score of ‘maaahiiii....’ which actually is chanting of the word “MAHI” by a group of gay men in all kinds surs and rags of Indian classical music mixed with some jazz, some rock, some pop, some reggae, and what not...blah!! I think the director has a big crush on MSD or something, that’s why he is so fascinated with the word MAHIIII....anyways, before you start judging me for talking about ‘Geet...’ let me clarify that there is just 1 TV in my house and I am a married man, now you do the math!! So after a long, hardworking day at the office when one would want to relax with a beer or something and watch some Friends or HIMYM or News maybe, I on the contrary have to make peace with “Geet...hui sabe parayeee...” with the sound of ‘maaaaahieeee.....’ doing rounds in my head...duh!!

I thing somewhere, some ‘jagruk nagrik’ should file a PIL against theses crassly directed, pathetically acted, jokes which people love to call TV serials and which the modern Indian housewives just love to watch and get all teary eyed and inspired and all with!...we should ban them, they are ruining the fun I tell you. None of them have anything even remotely new or innovative, all of them either start with the might of ‘nari shakti’ and end up making an ‘abla nari’ out of it or it is the other way round and the only differentiating factors are the irritating sound tracks, the loaded makeups, the heavy jewelleries and the expensive attires.
One possible cure for this TV serial pandemic can be going the ‘non-serialaterian’ way, yes...few likeminded men (and by likeminded I mean ‘TV Serial Haters’) can join hands to form an organization or something...like “People for Ethical Treatment of TV Watching Time”, then they can do all kinds of awareness programs, road shows, music videos, etc, to educate the infected masses, enlighten them to better things in the TV (like Baywatch, or The Simpsons ;-) he he...jus kiddin!!) or maybe then rope in some useless outdated celebrity to support the cause, or ask some chicks in Norway or Zurich to shed some clothes and save the common Indian man from the dark forces of evil Serial makers who with some sweet jingle tunes lure you into the trap of never ending serials like Kunki... or kahani... and then you are doomed for life...GOD!! we need a Harry potter amongst us to drive us out of the dark times...maybe I’m getting too carried away with these thoughts...I think I am also infected ...this disease has got me too...without knowing I am making the whole situation melodramatic, and the solution heroic...jus the TV serial way!!!

I want to save YOU dear reader...please wakeup if you are sleeping with a TV serial in your head, and if you are not then cheers to you, please help me in spreading the awareness, please understand the fact that prevention is the only cure for this disease too. Let us all take a vow and stay away from the cancer for our TVs.

Signing off...NB

khayalon ki dakar!!

Watched this movie off late called Rajniti...what a big farce it turned out to be!! Nothing realistic, nothing even remotely likable and the most putting off factor of that movie was the way it started...I mean what a powerful start...I immediately had a bag full of respect for the dear director Mr. Prakash Jha (Mratyudand, Gangajal, Apahran fame) and as the movie progressed with a very TV serialish kinda storyline and incomplete performances from a lot of “hyped” and “much advertised” actors, or rather the younger lot from the cast, I slowly started replacing the respect in that bag with hatred, some guilt (for coming and watching the movie and bringing along my family too) and a lot of loath for three specific people...one for Prakach Jha (for completely messing up with the plot ) second for the fake show doll Katrina Kaif ...I mean why on was she required in that movie, just to provide some kind of distant resemblance to Sonia Gandhi and her political upsurge which the director so deftly portrayed by draping miss kaif in a simplistic looking saree and asking her to give a speech in a confused accent (imitating SG ofcource)..blah!! wtf...why do these directors keep insulting us by throwing such lame, dumbass characters and actors at us, why can’t they get over the commercial mentality of film making and add some sense to it??!! The third person that i completely hated in that movie was ranbir kapoor, yes the teary eyed chocolate hero who did a very poor job at doing an Al Pachino from the Godfather. He's not ready for the matured cinema i'd say!

I read some ravishing reviews about that joke of a movie where critics had done some spellbinding comparisons of it with the great epic Mahabharata, well to me it looked like that the director in his very artistic high-on-dope-and-liquor state decided to pen down his very pervert and mocking take on The Mahabharata, then the next morning, in a head crunching hangover he opened the Sonia Gandhi front (to make the movie sell-able or something...duh!) and brought the oh! so Barbie dollish Katrina kaif and then to make the movie more thrilling, revengeful and eet-ka-jawab-patthar-se types he decided to copy some intense scenes from The Godfather and paste them in the backdrop of Indian political and electoral system (so much for intelligent film making in Bollywood).

Why did anybody not see the resemblance of Rajniti with ‘The Godfather’ is beyond my imagination...I mean just look at it... the hospital scene, the killing of Babrao or Babulal or whatever the name of that dumbass gay politician was, the killing of arjun rampal…there are so many instances but there was no mention anywhere… no review, no report, nothing…strange :( . Sarkar was a film totally inspired by Godfather and RGV did justice to the story, the script, the flavour of the might of power which being a part of the political system still had the audacity to go beyond it and do what it wanted to… take revenge, kill drug lords...etc )well lated on RGV got carried away with sarkar raj and fell face first in shit...but that a different story)…but Rajniti…just aped the scenes and that too very poorly I must say…

Although there are some actors who have put in a wonderful effort, like Manoj Bajpai… flawless acting then Nana Patekar, Ajay Devgan the veterans basically, then the art direction is also very good, not flawless but close to perfect but they cannot take the load of whole film on their shoulders because other vital characters that of Ranbir Kapoor and Arjun Rampal have done a pathetic job. Ranbir’s acting was so much hyped, people said it is a coming off age film for him and blah blah…but I found it very drab and highly expressionless, which forces me to believe that it was not his original attempt rather an unsuccessful try to ape Al Pachino’s classy act from Godfather (another stupid attempt to copy something from the masterpiece). There were a lot of unnecessary scenes like the one where the mother goes to woo Ajay Devgan to join the family and offer him the “gaddi”(read throne)… I mean how lame was that!! I couldn’t control my laughter, had to push a fist full of pop-corns down my throat on that scene and the constipated look on the face of that mother…it all looked like a stupid spoof of some old hindi movie I tell you! the MTv Fully Faltoo types :P

Anyways…all said and done…I ended up wasting my money, time and a big chunk of my mind thinking why God why on earth did dear Mr. Praksh Jha had to make that movie and why did I had to go to see it…I just wish that next time God gives me the eyes to see through the promos of such big-promise-heap-of-shit movies!!

Signing off

NB